"I need a scotch"

I sat there, in the dark, trying to compose myself, and lusted for an old vice. I could grab a few, but I had come too far for that, now. So, I sat in the theatre, letting other patrons silently go by me as I stared at a black screen, watching white plain block letters scroll up. I had just watched United 93, and I needed a few moments to compose myself. I could feel some fine tremor in my hands, and I felt hot, almost feverish in the cold theatre, with some sweat on my brow and arms. Just a touch. I looked at my watch and blinked. THe film had started at 9:50. It was now 11:38 or so. Almost two hours had gone by.. fast. I had left the apartment at 9:30-ish.

D-6 was having a Hell of a night on call, and had not wanted to see United 93, So I decided to go and see the flick solo. I had gotten to the theatre without problems, and managed to time it so that I was getting my ticket 2 minutes before the show started. It was a good thing I had not delayed, as a small pink sign on the teller's desk said there would be no preview for other films. SO, I grabbed my ticket, went upstairs, and settled in to a relatively central seat. It was not too crowded; not unheard of for a Sunday night. Not once from the opening scene to the closing credits had I looked at my watch.

When the film started, I noticed at some point that my palms had become a little sweaty. I could go into the psychosomatic responses to stress, but I shall not, Suffice it to say that when I get nervous or apprehensive, my palms start to sweat like it is going out of style. I also noticed my heart rate trending up to about 90 bpm early in the film while the passengers were boarding. Damned conditioned responses. I knew what was coming in this film. I knew how it ends. I knew what lay ahead, and my body was preparing for it, even though I was just going to be sitting helpless in a movie theatre to events that had unfolded 1500 days and 1500 miles away.

The film took the audience through the events of that fateful morning. We saw the confusion, miscommunication, uncertainty, and ignorance of what happened all morning. When the second plane hit the towers, everybody in the film stopped. The whole theatre was silent, and I remembered what I was doing at that very minute a time zone away. I had just seen my new bride out the door as she went to classes. We had been married for less than 90 days. She had seen the news break about the first plane right before she left. I was putting my boots on. An old set of combat boots from the Marine Corps. I was lacing them up when I saw the second plane hit. There was about three seconds when I was shocked. I thought to myself; "what kind of a dumb sonafabitch would try to get a closer look, and then crash into the other ...." And then my mind reeled> In an instant I knew it was an attack. Then, thought after thought blasted through my mind like a daisy chain of bombs. Attack. War. Response. War. Marines. War.  We would respond, but that was the event horizon. I did not know what lay beyond that.

I was feeling a little more composed, so I got up to leave, and realized, suddenly that I was alone as the white letters kept on scrolling. I left the amost deserted theatre, into the near empty parking lot, with the comforting weight of Alice on my hip. As i drove home, I thought about two things. First; I would make it vodka instead of scotch. Second, That was a powerful movie. A friend of mine had seen it, and when I asked him abnout it in the gym, about what he thought of it, he said that one word; "powerful." It truly is a powerful film. Although you know that in the end, everyone dies. To see them coming together, to see them turn from shock and horror to desperation, and action... well, it was inspiring. I found myself projecting myself into the film. What would I have done different? how would I have made that critical difference? In the end, I will never know. None of us will. It doesn't matter. What matters is not that they failed, but that they fought. The leading edge in this war we have found ourselves dragged into was not Recon Marines, Navy SEALs, or Delta force. It was just a bunch of ordinary people who had taken a stand, and while they could not change their fate, they could fight their way to meeting it on their terms.

I highly recommend to everyone that they watch this film. Why? because it reminds us. The politics of those on that flight were never mentioned. We need to be reminded of that. We need to be reminded that they do want to kill us, and either we can live in fear, or we can go after them. We need to be reminded that we are Americans first, and political second. We need to be reminded that the enemy lies out there, not across the aisle.

Those who say that this film is too soon will always say it is too soon. Those that think it is too soon, want to go back to sleep. They want to go back to September 10th. This film reminds us that September 11th has come. Indeed, it has come and has gone, and we will never be able to go back. we will never be able to load that plane with the Greenbay Packer's defensive line. we will never be able to go back and put an air marshal, or second pilot on board. We will never be able to put a gun into the cockpit.We will never be able to go back and undo the mistakes that have been made that led to September 11th. We are reminded that our future is in front of us, beyond the event horizon, not behind us on September 10th.

Remember, Remember the Eleventh of September...

Respectfully Submitted,
-doc Russia

Now, time for that drink.